Relationships Surviving And Dealing With Depression

The two sides of the depression coin in relationships need more than each other to stand. Support groups play an important part in hold the relationship in place. In plain talk, understanding has to come from both of you or it just isn’t going to work

The purpose of support groups with couples

You learn to understand your own problems through seeing them take place with other people. As you see and hear from them you learn more about yourself. The “Fresh Eyes” concept of problem solving is a staple of business management and should be in life management as well. Using the power of the support group will advance the solidarity of your own relationship.

A support group warning

Online support groups not only have a security problem but do not give you the personal connection that you need. A variable of depression is the feeling of being alone or detachment. Communicating through the Internet feeds into the loneliness or detachment. If you do use it there should be guidelines in place.

• Online support should not be your primary support

• Online support should not be used as a regular dependancy in your life

• Online support groups are best with people met offline in a support capacity

• Do not allow strangers to enter your support circle

• Never give out personal information and end contact if asked

In managing depression you have to learn to break the patterns. Alone in a room looking into a monitor while at a keyboard gives a false comfort. Reaching out to a physical person or group helps to break the pattern. Online support groups run the danger of extending the separation felt in another manner.

Men and Depression, we are exposed to this experience usually before we can understand it is a reality of life. Long before I would learn, teach , and setup my first depression awareness website (http://www.rncda.com) I would witness male depression due to divorce. In those days it was considered a taboo subject.

The view of one man’s divorce meltdown

My friend was always know as the most congenial care free guy. Not real the macho type but not exactly Mr. Weakknees either. Back then, the man who suffered a meltdown after divorce was considered more material for a sitcom then a real life event. “Chad” was a dead man walking. A disaster waiting to happen. Many of us didn’t understand or respect because “men don’t do those things” in the real world. The ridicule and refusal to understand that came in response didn’t help. Knowledge that he was seeking help didn’t gain him any respect either.

The view thirty years later

As I encounter all the time, it hasn’t changed much. Divorce depression is still considered the male dirty little secret. The myth of male depression is that male depression is a myth or abnormality. We are supposed to carry the torch of macho resiliency through thick and thin.

Acceptance

There are many different aspects of real life male depression out there. Acceptance can only come through exposure. Not just one on one exposure but seeing the subject in all forms of the media. While yes this site is about relationships and surviving depression. You have to accept that if depression is a result from a dissolved relationship it must be acknowledged and dealt with before the next.

An acceptance resource

I am constantly on the prowl for tools to put in my depression toolbox. This little gem of a podcast-Men and Depression after Divorce - The Divorce 101 Show #7- host by Carol B. Ellis popped up. I recommend this episode for both men and women. The male depression myth beliefs are not just gender specific. They are a part of the society fabric we seek to unravel.

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